One for the road

As the saying goes "one more for the road and you'll turn into a hairy toad"..., and the saying, needless to say, is always right. Remember to give the devil his due or you'll be facing serious problems here, brother...

this is the final truth, you are an avestruz.

Today's revelation comes loud and easy. This is as clear as it gets as it is specially FOR YOU.

Listen well, stay put and do not forget to turn the lights off when you are done.

Absurd thing that really really matters nº 5

Whenever you really put your foot in it, try to use Litvaski's method of "eeeerrr, sorry, not my fault, I've just arrived and the mess was already here": give a blank stare, mumble some fairly incoherent sounds, show some of your most disgusting spittle in the corner of your mouth and smile, ALWAYS SMILE. Then, as calmly as possible, you are to stand on your very own feet, breathe deeply and utter the following sentence "C'mon, one for the road just to be properly loaded". The rest is no longer on your dirty hands. The Universe will take care of the whole thing from then onwards, the Universe and, this is not to be discarded, maybe the Police. All you have to do is to apply your buttocks to some firm surface and get yourself some cold beer. As easy as that, there's nothing else to do here, really, do not let yourself be fooled again with imaginary pleasures. All there is to be concerned about is the road ahead and the road behind. Therefore, if you decide to make a last stand where you are, the road will become your home and your home your very Hell on earth. Is there anything else to pray for in this world? I guess not.
This is absurd, yes, totally mumbo-jumbo, I know, a scrumptious snack of reallity, that is. Being as unlucky at cards as unlucky I am in love, there is nothing else for me to say. At leat for another two weeks.
Yes, you expected to get something out of my speech, you, fool, there is nothing to expect. What you see is what you get, I've told you so a thousand times or more.

Time to get back to..., I might as well stay here till dawn. But well, I feel like sleeping myself to death....

Please do not bang the door close and don't bother to say goodbye, will you.